When we are Silent

I have been overwhelmed by the support my last blog post received (https://saysomethingquiet.blogspot.com/2019/04/what-its-like-to-be-gay-in-alberta.html?m=1). I have heard messages of support from people I never expected to hear from. I have had several people's words make me feel more loved and supported than I even knew cared. I am so very grateful.

Those words, likes, shares and the general goodwill really give me hope and faith that whatever the majority's political stripe, they are moderate in social beliefs and don't reflect the bigoted garbage that came out this election. Those words have helped fan a fire in me to be louder, stronger and more active in my community and my province.

What I also heard, though, were the silences. In life, I have worked very hard to surround myself with those who bring out my best self, those who reciprocate love, support, empathy, and the energy I put into them. When I go through hard times, I don't always reach out. Those closest to me usually see what's  happening as it does, but I don't always reach out. A few weeks ago, I reached out in the most public way available to me. I opened my heart to the page, and showed just a glimpse of the pain I was feeling because of harmful and hurtful ideas being so accepted and supported. Please believe me when I say that was just a taste of it. I was surprised, encouraged and entirely heartened by the words and well wishes I received. I felt more love after I posted the blog than I did before it was published.  Now, I can also hear the gaping silences from some who I thought were in my corner.

When we sit by and let things happen without standing up, we are doing the same as if we are supporting the cause. When people I haven't spoken to in a decade piped in and said, hey, I support you and I support LGBTQ+ people in the province, those people, that day, were not silent bystanders. Really, that's all it takes sometimes. When you use your voice to show a person that you support them, that has ripple effects. You have no idea how far those words go. When we stay silent, when we don't say a word, when we sit back and say my silence has no effect, we show that we do not care enough to stand up. A society that does not care enough to stand up is one that becomes overtaken. It is one that sits back and becomes suppressed, beholden to the powers that be, and essentially gives permission to those in power to abuse them.

I have been abused, and I will never give permission to another living soul to do that to me again. I do not give permission to a government to quash my rights as a woman or as LGBTQ+.  I will not go gentle into that good night. I will not suffer in silence when a group of powerful bigots smile their charming smiles and convince the masses that they don't have dark motives. I will not.

But silence gives them permission. Silence is laying down in submission. Silence is an action, though it seems like it is nothing. Lack of action speaks loudly. Silence gives them permission.

I used to call myself a pacifist. I am assuredly not. I see a world that is swinging right into disaster. I see a country, a nation, a people divided. I see sinister motives and disgusting corruption put forth as cool heads and clever minds. I will not sit back and be quiet about it.

I don't ask anyone to take up a standard and march to some apocalyptic battle. I don't ask capitalists to swing left and sympathize with my bleeding socialist heart. I don't ask people to betray their own beliefs. I believe in freedom above all.

I do ask that you don't sit back and watch as people's dangerous rhetoric wages war on constitutional rights. I do ask that you don't sit back and listen to that same rhetoric which spreads hate and bigotry. I do ask, that if you love me, you support me back, when I feel the need to reach out.

I don't reach out when I am hurting very often. I am strong and powerful and I can shoulder just about anything. So, when I do reach out, you should know, you must know, I need actual, tangible help and support. I don't need you to hang a damn rainbow flag above your doorway, but what I do need is for my supporters to stand the fuck up and stop looking the other way when I, or others like me, ask for help. You don't have to repost my blogs, comment on my social media, or even text me to show your support. You don't have to do a thing, but you can. You can do so much by not being a bystander. Don't think I'm angry if you didn't reach out. I'm certainly not. But maybe I will reach out to those who spoke up, who piped up, who showed me they support me when I needed it.

If we all speak up, our message is amplified. I don't care if we disagree on a great many things, if you support true freedom and equal rights, we can stand unified in that.

I won't sit down today. I don't feel safe, and I won't sit and allow others to also feel unsafe. Silence will not be heard from me. Not today. Certainly not tomorrow. Silence will not be my legacy.