I did my speech on February 27th. I've been trying really hard to process what it all meant, and my feelings around the event. At first, I was elated. It was done, and I was proud of what I had said. I think it had some impact on the audience. I could see their eyes, and I know they heard me. Then, I sank into this place where I couldn't quite feel proud. I haven't seen the video yet, and the further we get away from it, the more at peace I feel with it all. But, honestly, I need to work on my own advice. It didn't go perfectly according to the script, and so I kind of beat myself up about it. Maybe I should have added another piece - be gentle with yourself. And maybe another one, believe people when they tell you that you did a good job. I'm such a terrible inner critic that I have a hard time taking praise. Or criticism actually. However, I am working on it! Really hard. I'm anxious to see the video, but also anxious about seeing the video.
So, what's the point of this little story? I think the journey I've been on for the past year and a half, discovering what makes me resilient, was incredibly timely. At this time in the world, everything feels like it's balancing on the end of a knife. Our global way of life has changed. The world is CLOSED. The landscape in which we do work, education, and even have relationships is changing minute by minute. My career, for the foreseeable future, has gone remote and online. My children have no school to go to, no activities to do, no way of spending time with friends. My social interactions have been limited to small groups, one on one and on FaceTime. I am not alone in my isolation. None of us are.
It's these kinds of times that truly test our resilience. My generation has never seen something like this. As we isolate further and further, we actually need to move closer together in support of one another. People are losing their jobs, their businesses. People are losing their loved ones. How are we going to respond? Will we fall to pieces? Or will we join together (figuratively) to help one another, to lend a hand to those who need it most, to love harder than we ever have before?
I'm going to try to take my own advice here (because I think maybe it is good advice). I'm going to give myself time to reflect and turn inward when I feel the pressure becoming too much. This is essential. See all of it. I need to see and acknowledge when I'm faltering, when I don't feel strong, and also see and acknowledge that I've been through some pretty awful things, and I can do it again. I need to forgive myself for those moments when I don't believe I can handle things, for times when I might complain, or be impatient, for moments when I falter and can't be my best. Because honestly, we can't always be our best. It's impossible. And lastly, I need to be honest and transparent about all the things that are going on. Transparency is a breath of fresh air, and it helps build empathy. The more real we are with each other, the more we can see that we actually are in this together. Empathy, that is what is going to get us through this crazy time. The more empathy we have for one another, the more we build up our collective resilience (ha, that's a line from my TEDx).
Guys, our world is changing. Let's show the world just how resilient we are. Turn inward, make sure you're all good there, and then turn back outward and push that resilience where we need it most. Stay strong out there everyone.
