What are you afraid of?

I looked at the cave opening filled with crystal clear water.  My snorkel mask felt like it was suffocating me already.  My stomach lurched like a freight train coming to an emergency stop as I jumped into the water.  I had to make a choice: let my fear overcome me or have a once in a lifetime experience.  

Everyone's afraid of something.  In fact, we're all afraid of so many things.  Some, we know, like my fear of water.  Those ones are able to be fought because we recognize them.  Our rational minds can consciously fight them, because we are aware of them.  They are blatant, and we know that most of the time they're irrational.

But, what about all those deep-seated fears we live in that we can't even see? It's those ones which are most dangerous, because they are born from biases we may not even know we have.  Those are the ones that cause us to hurt ourselves and others.  My fear of water will not hurt me or any other person.  It may be annoying, and a hindrance to me, but it isn't harmful.  But, our deep, bias-filled fears are only harmful.

I think prejudice, discrimination and hate all stem from this fear.  It is the fear of the unknown.  It is the fear of "otherness", fear of change, fear of being wrong.  It is the fear that our own ideas of how the world works will be shattered if we entertain anything we don't understand.

I recently participated in an interview about Pride and what it means to me (which you can see during Calgary's Pride Week starting next Monday - (https://www.facebook.com/GlobalCalgary/videos/1161304070693112/), and this post is the premise I left with: that fear is what causes people to discriminate against LGBTQ+ individuals, and all of those who we find different from ourselves; that and lack of education, empathy and compassion.

These kinds of fears are so, so destructive.  They not only destroy ourselves, but the world around us.  Look at war.  Look at racism.  Look at laws that prohibit women from human rights.  Look at people who are put to death for being gay.  Look.  These things may feel far away from life as we know here and now, but assuredly they exist today.  And, they exist here, more than you may see.

I grew up with whispered rhetoric that was disparaging toward many people (but accepted as normal, and therefore not discriminatory because that's just the way it was) against - Indigenous, LGBTQ+, women, immigrants, People of Colour.  It was subtle, discreet and deeply ingrained in "white" culture.  It was subconscious.  It was disgusting.  It caused me to be afraid of those who were different from me without knowing why.  It was, is and will always be destructive.  We can do better.  We must do better. We don't even know or see these deep biases.

So, what are you afraid of?  Change?  Progress? A society that lives in equality, thus causing our comfortable hierarchy to crumble?

There is some truly deep work to be done here in order to uproot these fears.  I don't know that we will ever get there, but we must work.  There is just this one life we can be really sure of, so I'd rather live it free from the destruction my fear causes.  That's a choice that must be made daily.  Face the fear of things that are unknown, things that are "other", and allow things to move forward.  Change.  Be a champion of stamping out fear.  Listen to others.  See others.  See yourself for who you are, the good and the bad, and reinvent that deep, inner dialogue that destroys.